How do you know which one of your inner voices you should listen to?

When you want to live life on your own terms, there is one thing that often will cause confusion: our different inner voices. Very often, there will be one voice saying “I want to!” while at the same time, another voice is saying no. And the worst thing is, these voices change over time, so maybe when you first get an idea, it feels totally right, and you´re very exited, but when it starts to get time for action, resistance gets very powerful, telling you it´s too hard, or you´re not good enough or that it´s actually not very interesting what you decided to do. It might even tell you you HATE to do this whatever-it-is that´s on your agenda. So how do we know wich voice to listen to?! Continue reading

Can avoiding your dream actually be a good thing?

 

If you´re a hard core protestant/member of the Jante society, your answer to this question will doubtless be “yes”.  Going for your dream is egoistic, un-useful, even dangerous. It will make you fail, look like a fool, leave you alone without friends, ruin your life, make you broke and disappointed. And, anyhow, it´s impossible, and who do you think you are?

If you are like most people I know, your spontaneous answer will be “no”. Of course it´s good to try to live our dreams, isn´t it? But, wait a minute, why do so many people still find it so hard? In Sweden we have an expression hard to translate but with the meaning “What you want to do and what you have to do are totally different things”, pretty much illustrating the dilemma we easily end up in. We are taught that “important work” feels hard.  When something feels good we assume we´re just “playing around” and it gives us a bad conscience. If it´s fun, it must be something un-useful we are doing. And if we listen closer, most of us have exactly the same voices as above whispering in our ears. No wonder we get stopped in our attempts to fulfill our dreams if we deep down believe it will make us lonely and miserable, is it? Continue reading

What does it mean to be yourself?

One of my favourite inspirational songs is “Just be yourself” by Morcheeba, and when I started to think about how I wanted this blog to look like, one of my first ideas for a tagline was this very sentence. I guess that´s still pretty much what I want the site to be about, but after giving it some thought I remembered that “Just being me” is one of the things I´ve struggled the most to learn –  and I´ve found that this seems to be true also for many others. It´s so easy to say, but when we find ourselves confronted with expectations from family, friends and society it´s very easy to get confused and sidetracked. And with all those different inner voices most of us have, how do we even know what is “us”?

For many years I was very confused about my identity – I guess this have partly to do with adolcence, after all, isn´t this very much what growing up is about? Finding your identity… But that´s far from the whole truth. I very much remember a situation when I was speaking to a guy I was interested in at the time. I wanted to be honest with him; I wanted him to get to know me. The problem was, I didn´t know who I was, because my feeling was that different “persons” would appear in different situations. Continue reading